Heartbreak... The risk you should be willing to take!

Tears running down your face and you just think life can't go on with out them, right? Wrong.

Life works in such mysterious ways. If you read in my previous post, I mentioned that I moved to Las Vegas at the age of 18 because I was in love. Well, let me tell you... those four years of dating this guy were unreal. I learned what it was like to fall in love with someone for the first time and I even ended up living with him. Little did I know, his profession (athlete) was going to his head and he was consistently cheating on me. I forgave him a handful of times and we tried to work things out, but he ended up doing it to me the last time I would allow.

I will never forget leaving the house that we lived in together and driving in my car (Cadillac SUV at the time) and just parking myself in a grocery store parking lot at the dead of the night and just bursting into tears. I remember not being able to breathe and just laying my head in my hands against my steering wheel. I remember thinking about how much I loved him and wondering how he could do this to me. I remember thinking of all the times we have slept in the same bed and not knowing who he was with before me... No one should ever have to feel that way... And from that moment on, I may not have known what kind of man I wanted, but I definitely knew what I DIDN'T want in a man.

I moved my belongings out of my ex-boyfriend's house, only taking what belonged to only me because I didn't want the memories of the things that we had shared. It's so important to get rid of the things that remind you of your ex so you don't dwell on the materialistic things that make you think of him. It took me about two years to fully get over him and I would be lying if I said that I don't think about him from time and time again; he was my first love, my first everything.

I felt really down and depressed for about three to four months, but about a week after being on my own, I remember saying to myself, "I'm going to show him what he's missing out on" and I was dieting and working out consistently. I dressed and looked my best always... just in case I'd see him or his friends.

Working out, feeling good, and looking good soon paid off and I got one of the hottest jobs in Las Vegas doing VIP Bottle Service for The Light Group working at JET Nightclub and Caramel. I was 21 years old making crazy amounts of money and just enjoying being single. I met some good friends and I finally started to realize who I was; without a man. And let me tell you, I haven't changed so much in my whole life!

"The only constant is change." (Volcolm) As we grow and age, we are changing on a day to day basis. Change can be a really good thing so don't be afraid of it.

My ex came running back to me the day I broke up with him, weeks after, months after, and even years after. I wish the best for him always, but the love just isn't there anymore. In fact, right before he got engaged, he had asked me if there will ever be a chance between us and I just wished him on his way. I will always be 'the one that got away' from him... and let me tell you, it feels kind of good. Karma for him cheating on me!

As bad as heartbreak may feel for that short amount of time that seems like forever, it's almost a necessity to finding what you really want in life and who you really are as a person. I have gained so much confidence in myself after having a broken heart because rather than letting it bring me down, I made myself better. I made myself better for the next lucky guy to have the chance with me, but more importantly, I made myself better so I can love me!

Be happy with being YOU...

One of the best sayings I have ever heard is from a childhood memory: "You have to believe in yourself before others will believe in you."

That statement couldn't be more true. If you walk around with your head down, people aren't going to notice you and if they do, they aren't going to be interested in talking to someone feeling down. If you walk around with your head held high and with confidence, people are going to be curious as to what is making you feel so good.

Something I have learned over time is that sometimes you have to 'fool yourself' that you're happy with the way things are. Sounds crazy I know, but I can explain! If you walk around confident and smiling, chances are people are going to smile back at you, which in return leads to you having a REAL smile. Still sounds crazy to you? Try it.

Feeding off negative energy, even your own, will keep leading you in a negative direction. If you fill your life with positive energy, you will have a lot more appreciation for all of the important things surrounding you. Life is too short to live in stress, depression, and feeling sorry for yourself... do yourself a favor and do something at this very moment that makes you feel good: make yourself a nice treat, get your nails done, buy yourself something nice, go for a nice walk and notice the beautiful surroundings you have, or you can even sit down and read a good book! A smarter, grateful woman is so much sexier than a woman with just a pretty face!

Introduction to blogging about "Feeling Beautiful; Every Day"

Take a deep breathe, you're definitely not alone... We all have that feeling of isolation, loneliness, stress, or that feeling of being out of place. Society and the media today have made it a tough world to live in leaving yourself with questions such as: "Why don't I look like that girl on the cover of that magazine?," "How do I lose weight and keep healthy?," and just the every day questions that just add more stress to our life than we actually need.

I decided to write this blog because I grew up in small towns my whole life without an older sibling to look up to for advice so I'd always find myself lost with my questions on how I could feel beautiful; inside and out. I was taunted growing up because I was loud, obnoxious, and a complete tomboy. And even though the guys were giving me more attention than the other girls, I knew it wasn't because they liked me... Because to them, I was always just 'one of the guys...'

Moving to Las Vegas, NV can either make or break an 18 year old girl; especially when she's moving from a town like St. George, UT... for a guy she was in love with. Finally, a guy that loved me for the simple things in life... my natural beauty, the fact that I was a tomboy, and everything about me... And yet, I still didn't feel sexy. I remember being so insecure and comparing myself to every girl that I knew he could have a shot with... So why would he choose to be with me? Was I really that special?

This blog is for every teenager, college student, friend, mother, or anyone in the world that has the same questions as every woman... And I encourage you all to ask me or give me ideas to write about... Because after all, we are all beautiful women... it's about time we all get in this together!

And as a woman, it's so important to feel sexy on the inside and the outside... So here we go!