Tears running down your face and you just think life can't go on with out them, right? Wrong.
Life works in such mysterious ways. If you read in my previous post, I mentioned that I moved to Las Vegas at the age of 18 because I was in love. Well, let me tell you... those four years of dating this guy were unreal. I learned what it was like to fall in love with someone for the first time and I even ended up living with him. Little did I know, his profession (athlete) was going to his head and he was consistently cheating on me. I forgave him a handful of times and we tried to work things out, but he ended up doing it to me the last time I would allow.
I will never forget leaving the house that we lived in together and driving in my car (Cadillac SUV at the time) and just parking myself in a grocery store parking lot at the dead of the night and just bursting into tears. I remember not being able to breathe and just laying my head in my hands against my steering wheel. I remember thinking about how much I loved him and wondering how he could do this to me. I remember thinking of all the times we have slept in the same bed and not knowing who he was with before me... No one should ever have to feel that way... And from that moment on, I may not have known what kind of man I wanted, but I definitely knew what I DIDN'T want in a man.
I moved my belongings out of my ex-boyfriend's house, only taking what belonged to only me because I didn't want the memories of the things that we had shared. It's so important to get rid of the things that remind you of your ex so you don't dwell on the materialistic things that make you think of him. It took me about two years to fully get over him and I would be lying if I said that I don't think about him from time and time again; he was my first love, my first everything.
I felt really down and depressed for about three to four months, but about a week after being on my own, I remember saying to myself, "I'm going to show him what he's missing out on" and I was dieting and working out consistently. I dressed and looked my best always... just in case I'd see him or his friends.
Working out, feeling good, and looking good soon paid off and I got one of the hottest jobs in Las Vegas doing VIP Bottle Service for The Light Group working at JET Nightclub and Caramel. I was 21 years old making crazy amounts of money and just enjoying being single. I met some good friends and I finally started to realize who I was; without a man. And let me tell you, I haven't changed so much in my whole life!
"The only constant is change." (Volcolm) As we grow and age, we are changing on a day to day basis. Change can be a really good thing so don't be afraid of it.
My ex came running back to me the day I broke up with him, weeks after, months after, and even years after. I wish the best for him always, but the love just isn't there anymore. In fact, right before he got engaged, he had asked me if there will ever be a chance between us and I just wished him on his way. I will always be 'the one that got away' from him... and let me tell you, it feels kind of good. Karma for him cheating on me!
As bad as heartbreak may feel for that short amount of time that seems like forever, it's almost a necessity to finding what you really want in life and who you really are as a person. I have gained so much confidence in myself after having a broken heart because rather than letting it bring me down, I made myself better. I made myself better for the next lucky guy to have the chance with me, but more importantly, I made myself better so I can love me!
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